Discussing Social Upheaval: A Family-Friendly Guide to Talking with Your Child About Traumatic Events

Feb 12

Image of a wildfire with flames engulfing trees, illustrating the intensity and impact of natural disasters during social upheaval.

Social upheaval and traumatic events, whether they occur down the street or across the globe, can be challenging for children to process. From natural disasters like the recent wildfires in LA to acts of violence that dominate the news cycle, it’s vital for parents and educators to provide guidance, support, and a listening ear. Emphasizing the importance of guiding children through these conversations with care and discernment is crucial to ensure they understand the value of consulting reliable sources for accurate information.

But how exactly do we approach these difficult conversations with children in a way that acknowledges the truth while prioritizing their sense of safety?

This guide will walk you through how to discuss social upheaval and traumatic events with your child, offer specific advice for addressing the impact of wildfires, and provide suggestions for healing family activities to foster security and resilience.

Why Kids Need to Talk About Difficult Topics

Children are incredibly observant of changes in their daily lives. Whether they hear snippets of news from the TV, pick up conversations between adults, or notice unusual disruptions in their routine, they might already be piecing together a narrative that could cause anxiety or confusion.

Talking openly about social upheaval or traumatic events like wildfires ensures that children get the following essentials:

Reassurance – A clear sense that they are safe and protected despite uncertainty.
Honest Context – Age-appropriate explanations that clarify what’s happening and dispel misunderstandings.
Permission to Share – A chance to ask questions or voice fears without feeling dismissed or alone.

Avoiding these discussions can leave children navigating their emotions on their own, often constructing scenarios far scarier than the actual truth.

How to Talk to Your Child About Difficult Topics

1. Start with Reassurance

Before you get into details, remind your child that they are safe and protected, which helps them maintain a sense of freedom. Acknowledge their fears—it’s essential they feel heard. Saying something like, “What happened is very scary, but we are here to keep you safe,” can immediately provide comfort.

For younger children, it can be helpful to use concrete examples of helpers they can trust, such as firefighters, doctors, and community leaders who work to solve problems and ensure safety.

2. Gauge What They Know

Start the conversation by gently asking, “Have you heard anything about what happened?” This approach allows you to identify their existing level of awareness and uncover any myths or worries they might have internalized. For older children, it's important to recognize that their exposure to news and current events might be more extensive, and discussions can be used to engage them in critical thinking about the sources they trust and to address their feelings and knowledge, particularly in relation to distressing topics.

For example, if your child mentions a wildfire approaching their neighborhood but doesn’t understand evacuation procedures, take the opportunity to explain the facts in a calm, concise way.

3. Keep It Age-Appropriate

Tailor your language to your child’s developmental stage. Avoid overwhelming them with too many details. For instance:

Preschoolers need simple explanations like, “A fire happened, but very brave firefighters are working hard to make everything safe again.”
Elementary Schoolers might need slightly more context, such as, “The fire affected some homes, but emergency teams are here to help the people who lost their houses.”
Tweens and Teens can handle discussions about the social or environmental causes of an event and ways they can be proactive in addressing such issues, such as how young people can advocate for positive change and call for peace.

Stick to the truth, and don’t dismiss their concerns simply because they’re young.

4. Encourage Questions

Allowing your child to ask questions opens the door to a two-way conversation. Be prepared to answer as honestly as possible while reinforcing their safety.

Various factors such as population growth, technological changes, and cultural shifts have led to experiences of social upheaval, contributing to significant issues like poverty and social unrest.

For example, if they ask, “Could a wildfire happen near us?” respond with, “Fires are possible, but we have plans to stay safe if anything like that happens. And we also have many helpers here to protect us.”

Some questions might not have clear answers—acknowledge that uncertainty while still providing reassurance.

5. Address Emotional Responses

Children may feel frightened, angry, or even guilty during or after learning about social upheaval or disasters, as these events can significantly impact their daily life and emotions. Validate their feelings with empathy.

“I can see how this makes you feel sad—it’s okay to feel that way,” goes a long way in helping them process emotions. Suggest healthy coping mechanisms such as journaling, drawing, or even talking openly with family members.

6. End on a Positive Note

Highlight stories of resilience and recovery, such as communities coming together to rebuild homes or plant new trees after a wildfire. Social upheaval can have a substantial impact on communities and individuals, fundamentally altering cultural perceptions and reshaping societal structures. Reinforcing the idea of hope helps children view these events through a lens of recovery and progress instead of fear.

Talking Specifically About Wildfires

For parents in LA or other wildfire-prone regions, wildfires present unique challenges. These are events that can impact homes, schools, and entire communities, making it even more critical to provide clear reassurance and actionable plans.

It's important to recognize that wildfires and other natural disasters are part of a larger pattern of events happening around the world, highlighting the need for global awareness and collective efforts in addressing these issues.

What Children Need to Hear About Wildfires:

Reinforce Emergency Plans—Explain that your family has a plan during emergencies, like where to go if you need to evacuate and what to bring with you.
Highlight Community Helpers—Mention firefighters, volunteers, and aid organizations who step in during wildfires.
Connect Nature to Resilience—Reassure your child that nature has an amazing ability to recover and rebuild after fires.

Interactive Activities to Help Them Process Events:

Create a fire drill plan together as a family and practice it in a fun, not fear-based way.
Research reforestation efforts in LA (or elsewhere) and participate in a tree-planting initiative to foster hope.
Read child-friendly books about wildfires or natural disasters to normalize the experience.

Family Activities to Foster Healing and Resilience

Sometimes, the best way to process difficult topics is through actions and bonding activities. Here are some ideas to help support your child emotionally after discussing traumatic events or social upheaval:

Family activities can also promote values like equality and community support, fostering a sense of togetherness and mutual respect.

1. Create a “Helper Collage”

Collect images or draw pictures of helpers (firefighters, counselors, neighbors, etc.) to remind your child that there are always people working to protect and heal.

2. Write Letters of Thanks

Encourage your child to write thank-you notes or create drawings for first responders in your community. This helps them channel fear into gratitude.

3. Volunteer as a Family

Connect with local organizations working on wildfire relief or social justice causes. Even small contributions can empower children to feel part of the solution.

4. Build a Calm Space

Designate a safe, quiet area in your home for children to go when they’re feeling anxious. Include comforting items like blankets, books, and drawing supplies.

5. Practice Gratitude Together

At dinner or bedtime, take turns sharing something you’re grateful for that day. This helps shift focus from fear to positivity.

Empower Your Children to Face the Future

Talking to children about social upheaval or traumatic events is not an easy task, but it’s an essential one. Guiding children through these conversations can lead to a sense of empowerment and resilience. By providing reassurance, answering questions truthfully, and involving them in proactive solutions, you help them build resilience, empathy, and hope for the future.

Remember, you don’t have to do it alone. YWCA of Greater Los Angeles provides resources and support for parents, educators, and families navigating challenging conversations and times. Together, we can create a sense of safety and empowerment for our children that lasts well beyond any moment of crisis.

Learn more about our programs for early child development, youth empowerment, and community support here.

Sources:

Mridul Jain